Scary Movie 3

[on the phone]
Cindy: Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What? Willie Mays?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: Who's gay? Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What?
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Kind of.
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Yes. Perfect.
Tabitha's Voice: Seven days.
Cindy: Seven days. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?
Tabitha's Voice: Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now.
Cindy: So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour? Tabitha's Voice: Forget hours. This day seven days from now.
Cindy: But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?
Tabitha's Voice: Well, that depends. What holiday?
Cindy: Martin Luther King Day.
Tabitha's Voice: Then no.
Cindy: Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off.
Tabitha's Voice: Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the shit out of you if you'd rather have that.



[the phone rings after Cody watches the tape]
Cindy: Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: It's me. How you doing?
Cindy: Fine.
Tabitha's Voice: Enjoying your last week? I can't wait to see you. Six days now, right?
Cindy: Yeah.
Tabitha's Voice: It was great catching up. Can I speak to Cody?
Cindy: Why? He didn't watch the tape.
Tabitha's Voice: Yes, he did. Come on, Cindy, I do this for a living.
[Cindy hangs up. The phone rings again]
Cindy: Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: Hello, I'm calling from "Reader's Digest" with a fantastic offer for Cody. [Snickering]
Cindy: No, you're not! You're that evil little girl from the tape!
Tabitha's Voice: [Laughs] Okay, you got me. How about I just leave a message for him?
Cindy: Fine. [Writes the message down]
Cindy: Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, how do you spell that? Right. Okay, got it. Bye-bye.
[Holds the paper up, reading SEVEN DAYS]
Cindy: Aaaah!



Trooper Champlin: It's your wife, Father. She's hurt.
Tom: Annie?
Trooper Champlin: She was hit by a truck and she's pinned against a tree.
Tom: I don't understand.
Trooper Champlin: As long as the truck has her pinned, she'll stay alive.
Tom: I still don't get it.
Trooper Champlin: [shows Tom sausage] This is your wife. [breaks sausage in half]
Tom: She broke her wiener?
Tom: I want to see Annie.
Trooper Champlin: She's split in half.
Tom: You mean like down-the-middle in half?
[Holds up a sandwich and separates its halves]
Trooper Champlin: At the waist.
Tom: You mean this is the last time I can talk to the top half?
Trooper Champlin: Yes. The truck is the only thing that is holding her together.
Tom: Let's say this is her bottom half. [Holds up a doughnut]
Tom: Can I squeeze in a few minutes with that?
Trooper Champlin: I'm not sure what you mean.
Tom: Let me explain. [Holds up a sausage]
Tom: [wife has been severed by car] Hi, baby.
Annie: Honey, I'm dying.
Tom: No, don't talk like that, the truck barely hit you.
Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry.
Tom: I promise.
Annie: And no sex, either.
Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery.
Annie: [shouts] No sex!
Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly.
Annie: Oh, Jesus.
Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light.
Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away.
Tom: Right. Swing away.
Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand.
[Gasps and dies]